Her Son Died and Taught Her a System to Talk to Him Daily | Kim Hodous (Episode 178)
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Can you talk to your dead child without being psychic?
What happens when a happiness speaker loses her son at 29 and discovers she can communicate with him daily through automatic writing? Kim Hodous, author of Beyond Grief, shares how her son Rob taught her a system from the other side to connect with him, the profound messages he shares about what happens after death, and why he insists anyone can do this without being psychic or a medium.
About This Episode
Kim Hodous is a happiness speaker, grief recovery coach, and author of Beyond Grief: How a Son's Afterlife Connection Transformed a Mother's Loss into a Remarkable Spiritual Journey. After losing her daughter Chelsea to leukemia 30 years ago, Kim spent two decades as a professional happiness speaker working with corporations and associations. In 2022, while returning from her first live speaking engagement after COVID, she received the devastating call that her son Rob, 29, had died. Despite being clean for two years after seven years of addiction, Rob had used again and died immediately. That night stranded in a snowstorm in a Charlotte hotel, Rob came through to Kim apologizing and saying he was embarrassed. A month later, Kim's psychic friend told her to open her computer the next morning and Rob would be there. Kim started typing and Rob's words poured through—and he hasn't stopped communicating since. A year after his death, Rob came to Kim in a waking dream more real than physical reality to give her one last hug and tell her he was giving her a system called OSCAR to teach other mothers to connect with their children. Kim now teaches mothers how to communicate with their deceased children and offers grief recovery coaching.
In this conversation, we explore:
White Rock Signs from Chelsea
Losing daughter Chelsea to leukemia 30 years ago with Monosomy 7
Seeing single white rocks glowing everywhere after her death
Not understanding what they meant but knowing they were from Chelsea
Guest pastor at Unity Church in Sedona telling story of David and Goliath
Smooth white stones representing ability to overcome any obstacle
Hair standing up on neck realizing Chelsea was speaking through pastor
Leaving church that morning a changed person
Building million dollar jewelry business from kitchen table
Becoming happiness speaker for 15 years researching lasting happiness
Rob's Death and First Contact
February 2022: Police call about Rob found dead at 29
Stranded alone in nor'easter snowstorm in Charlotte, South Carolina
That whole night Rob and Kim together: "I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed"
Seven years of addiction, two years completely clean
100 people at funeral who didn't know he had drug issue
Kim telling Rob all night: "It's okay, I'll make it okay"
Psychic friend Eve calling with messages from Rob daily
20 minute voice note about everything that happened at funeral
First Automatic Writing Session
March 6: Kim having pity party with Eve about wanting to talk to Rob herself
Eve: "Just open your computer in the morning and he'll be there"
Journaling for years but never on computer
Opening computer next morning: "Rob, I was told if I started typing you'd be here"
Fingers flying over keys: "Mama you're here, yay"
Rob has not shut up since
No consciousness of what's coming through while typing
Going back to read it and realizing it's all stuff she never thought before
Validation that it's not her thoughts because it's completely new
Messages from the Other Side
Greatest relief: Being free from torment and craving for drugs
Rob at 29: Tennis pro, athlete, pest control business owner, entrepreneur
Did not want to be saddled with burden of addiction
Bliss and joy available to everyone regardless of what they did in life
Everyone has same access to light and love
Murderers, drug dealers, prostitutes, sex traffickers all have equal access
First message: "Love is all there is"
Even when there's hate, it causes people to love more and wake up
Ukraine war example: Whole world sending love and support
Everything designed to bring forth more love
Being in Multiple Places at Once
Rob can fly, float, twirl, flip, dance in his bliss
Can be in Hot Springs with Kim and Fayetteville with brother simultaneously
Can jump from one place to another instantly without travel
Not being in two places at exact same moment but jumping instantly
A portion of soul that's eternal always stays available
Chelsea reincarnated but eternal part of her soul still available
Some moms want ongoing conversations, some just need to know child is okay
Rob Disappeared for Two Weeks
Kim thinking maybe connection was over after two weeks silence
Asking "Rob are you here?" and him appearing immediately
"Did you hear about shooting in Uvalde?"
Rob been helping those kids get to the light and helping their parents
"I have work to do over here too, I'm busy"
Rob's skills, spirituality, and soul growth happening on other side
The Waking Dream
One year after death: Rob came in waking dream more real than physical reality
Kim is sound sensitive, wears earplugs to gym, wakes at any noise
Daughter spent night, made coffee, toasted bagel—Kim kept sleeping
Daughter: "I knew the toaster would wake you up but you kept sleeping"
Kim crumpled to ground sobbing when she remembered the dream
Had been with Rob, hugged him goodbye, remembers exactly what he wore
Ran to computer: Rob explaining he came to give her one last hug
Both regretted not getting last hug before he died
Rob: "I wanted you to know how real this is"
Not going back into a body, staying on other side
Giving her system to teach other mothers to connect
The OSCAR System
Kim resisting: "I'm not psychic, not a medium, don't have the gift"
Rob persistent on other side as he was on this side
Took nine months for Rob to give her all pieces of program
Kim wanted to call it bliss, heart, love, joy, harmony
Rob: "Nope it's OSCAR, we got to lighten this up, bring levity"
OSCAR stands for steps: Open channel, Set intention, Command
Moms carry children's DNA in body until day they die
Children literally with mothers forever
Rob: "Mamas are going to be easiest so that's where we'll start"
Rob Saving Lives from the Other Side
February 28: Horrible day cleaning out Rob's apartment
Kim drinking whiskey in friend Eve's hot tub sobbing
Loud crash: Kim's car rolled down steep driveway into tree
Car sitting there 45 minutes then suddenly rolled
Eve: "Kim, Rob did it"
Supply chain issues: Kim's car in shop 6-8 months
Had to drive Rob's brother Jordan's terrible X-Terra
Couldn't go over 60mph, wind too loud to talk on phone
Kim cursing Rob for months about having to drive that car
Italy Bike Trip: Donna's Broken Leg
Year later: Kim and husband biking across Italy with brother Bert and Donna
Supposed to bike six days to farm-to-table communities
Poured torrential rain every day of trip
Donna (Harvard grad, brilliant woodworker) programming route on phone
Pulling phone out of pocket and swerving on bike
Italy drivers flying around mountain corners honking
One side mountain, other side 500 foot drop into ocean
Kim yelling "Donna, car!" 10 times a day
Day three: Kim staying in hotel, not riding in rain anymore
Donna and Bert still riding, Donna on ground 50 feet up road
Donna writhing in pain—not like her at all
Ambulance sirens: Rob comes through "Mom it was me"
Rob's Explanation
Someone was going to die in those weather conditions
Donna kept pulling phone out and swerving
Cars driving crazy in rain
Rob: "She was gonna die"
That's why he pushed Kim's car into tree months earlier
Kim such a mess after his death, would go into autopilot driving
Jordan's car forced Kim to pay attention and focus on driving
Couldn't be on phone, listen to audiobook, or talk to anyone
Kim's car had safety features lighting up for cars beside her
Had to drive with intention in the X-Terra
Rob: "I saved both of your lives"
Wishes people could understand when inconvenient things happen
Whole other world operating above us we're not aware of
Everything happening to us and for us
Why didn't he give Donna flat tire? Would only stop her an hour
Donna in hospital four days, they stopped biking entirely
Always other things underneath surface of what we see
Trust everything happening is for our good
Childhood Leukemia and Reincarnation
Chelsea diagnosed with leukemia at young age, three girls and a boy
Leukemia had 75% cure rate but Chelsea had Monosomy 7—worst kind
Fought for six months
Kim and husband held her on 10th floor pediatric bone marrow transplant Minneapolis
Held her when she took last breath
Devastated, gutted, fell into pit of despair
Friends called her Mary Poppins—positive, looked on bright side
Chelsea liked having short lifetimes—like going off high dive
Loved thrill of jump, came in and shook up entire family
Chelsea reincarnated but eternal part of soul always available
Communication with Chelsea complete—what she came to teach was complete
No Good, No Bad—Just Love
Rob said constantly: "There's no good and there's no bad, it's all love"
Editor: "Kim he says this all the time, you're beating a dead horse"
Was in book 10 times, now maybe five or six
Everything that happens to us happens for us
No accidents, no mistakes
We agree to certain things before we incarnate
Everybody's journey is perfect, what their soul chose
Lets Kim take deep breath: Don't have to try to fix anyone or anything
Can see through different lens of acceptance
Finding good, love, and positivity in every situation
So much good came from Rob's death
Soul Families and Hard Truths
Ethan sold Rob the drugs knowing it would kill him
Rob: Ethan is part of his soul family
Ethan raised his hand to stand in that space out of love
Previous lifetimes Ethan was Rob's brother
Ethan addicted to meth by 12, abused by revolving door of men
Horrible childhood, hard life
Rob had beautiful life: tennis camps, academies, Maine trips, US Open
Ethan now in jail, gets out at 71, got 38 years no parole
Who would pick reality where they're abused, murdered, tortured?
Beyond Kim's realm of understanding
Rob ties everything back to service for our growth
Quantum Time and Ancestral Clearing
Some of Rob's messages go over Kim's head
When you clear something for yourself, clear seven generations forward and back
Kim kind of understands forward (heal yourself, parent better)
Seven generations back makes no sense
Rob explained as best he could in book
Part went over Kim's head too when mentioned
Anyone Can Do This
Rob: "Mom that's what makes you perfect—you're not a medium or psychic"
Moms Kim works with aren't mediums or psychics either
Not mediumship, not being psychic
Kim can't give readings for other people or do it for anyone else
Some moms took mediumship classes trying to connect with kids
Still had trouble even studying mediumship
This program just helps connect with your own loved one
Children banging on the veil but how much noise does banging on veil make?
They're trying but moms can't hear them
Rob: "This is going to be piece of cake"
Find souls on his side, find moms on that side, bring them together
They don't need Kim, don't need system, they are available
Rob's Personality
Lit up every room, never turned dark even in addiction
Always stayed fun, light, happy
Number one foam finger sexy dance in front of tennis crowd
Came over and cooked when friends were sick
Helped people move in rain when other friends wouldn't show up
Served on property committee at Presbyterian Church with 6-7 seventy-year-old men
They'd hold shaky ladder, Rob climbed to top to change banners
Rob got the power washer for church sidewalks
Some Sunday mornings showed up with shaky hands from Saturday night
Unicorn among horses walking in so many different worlds
100 people at funeral didn't know he had drug issue
Took uniqueness to other side as well
Father the Minister
Kim's daddy minister entire life
In pulpit two weeks before he passed
Age 10: Played church with stuffed animals as congregation
Would preach and thump floor for little brother to collect offering
Always wanted to be pastor, had doctorate in theology
Loved anything to do with spirituality
Shirley MacLaine's Out on a Limb about reincarnation
Kim asked daddy about mediumship and afterlife
"Oh I believe in all of it, we come back"
Never said anything about communicating with people
Kim believed in reincarnation most of adult life
No experience speaking with spirits until Rob
Rob's Book Title and Swear Words
Rob wanted book titled: "I Didn't Die I Just Changed Form and a Bunch of Other Shit We Have All Mixed Up"
Kim: "Rob buddy, I'm gonna have to override you, pull the mom card"
Very taboo in Kim's market, wouldn't even say hell on stage
Wanted to be able to mention from stage
Few swear words in book, Kim took out a lot
Rob was 29 year old single guy, athlete, cool guy
Cleaned it up quite a bit but left a few
Kim's Conviction
100% convinced there's an afterlife, 110%
Zero doubt in mind that Rob is still there
Not a skeptical bone in body
Nobody could convince her otherwise
Based on communication with Rob
Half the stuff in book came from consciousness outside her own
Wasn't in her until Rob shared it
Now integrated into her belief system as her truth
First Mother's Day message: Honor of being a mother, how significant mothers are
Often after lifetime as woman and mother, next lifetime you're not
Kim: "Hell yes I hope I come back privileged white man next lifetime"
Working with Mothers
Nobody entered class thinking they couldn't connect
Wouldn't make investment if didn't think there was possibility
Some moms gotten way more than expected
Most common struggle: Doubt—Is it really him? Is it really her?
Kim had doubt in beginning too
Now has system to help assure them and prove to themselves
Teaching moms in program, also grief recovery coaching
Free resources on website
Key Quotes
"Love is all there is. Love is all there is. And even when there's hate or something bad, what that does is it causes people to love more." - Rob through Kim Hodous
"You don't have a problem with me dying. You just have a problem with the timeline." - Rob through Kim Hodous
"I know that this looks horrible to you guys, but in reality, I saved both of your lives. There's a whole other world operating above us that we're not aware of." - Rob through Kim Hodous
"They are over there banging on the veil, but how much noise does it make if you bang on a veil? They're trying, but their moms just can't hear them." - Rob through Kim Hodous
About Kim Hodous
Kim Hodous stands at the intersection of profound loss and extraordinary spiritual discovery. After losing two children, her daughter Chelsea to leukemia and her son Rob at 29, Kim didn't just survive the unthinkable. She transformed it into a luminous bridge between worlds. As the author of Beyond Grief: How a Son's Afterlife Connection Transformed a Mother's Loss into a Remarkable Spiritual Journey, Kim shares the beautiful continuation of her relationship with Rob beyond the veil. Through ongoing communication with Rob via automatic writing, Kim has become a translator of his profound messages about love, purpose, and the eternal nature of our souls. Her teachings on reincarnation, spiritual evolution, and the permeable boundary between life and death offer revolutionary comfort to those walking the path of loss. Kim's approach is refreshingly honest, she doesn't minimize grief or offer hollow platitudes. Instead, she illuminates how authentic connection with our departed loved ones can coexist with deep healing, spiritual awakening, and profound joy. With courage, vulnerability, and unwavering spiritual insight, Kim guides others toward their own afterlife connections while honoring the full spectrum of the grief journey.
Connect with Kim Hodous:
Website: https://www.messagesformoms.com/
Book: Beyond Grief: How a Son's Afterlife Connection Transformed a Mother's Loss into a Remarkable Spiritual Journey
https://amzn.to/4tk66MF
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/messages.for.moms/
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