The Shared Death Experience with William J. Peters, Founder of The Shared Crossing Project Episode 25

Science + Research

Aug 3

There is an amazing phenomena when someone dies and their loved ones "accompany" them on the first part of their dying journey into the afterlife. This is called the Shared Death Experience (SDE) and William J. Peters is the leading researcher. How are these similar and different from Near Death Experiences - NDE's? Some SDE's are not only transformative emotionally, but are shockingly evidential of an afterlife. Most likely would all love to have one, so who does report having SDE's and how can we increase our chances?

William J. Peters is an end-of-life therapist who had a remarkable experience while volunteering at Hospice where he floated out of his own body and accompanied a dying patient as the patient crossed over. Having had two NDE's in his past, William recognized the similarity. He was so enthralled by this experience that he began to research if others had experienced anything similar. Spoiler alert - many people have. William spent the next 20 years gathering reports from others who had experienced what is now called a shared death experience. He founded The Shared Crossing Project in 2011 with the goal of positively transforming our relationship to death. Here people can discuss, share, and learn more about people's personal "Shared Crossing" experiences and the current research. He then wrote a book on his extensive research sharing some of the astounding stories called At Heaven's Door: What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach About Dying Well and Living Better.

What we talk about in this Episode:
- What are SDE's - Shared Death Experiences
- How are they similar different from NDEs
- Who has SDE's
- Willam Peters shares his own NDE’s and an SDE
- What are some highly evidential and verified SDE's: How do we know they aren't like a dream
- How can we all increase our chances of having an SDE
- A remarkable and unexpected SDE which occurred when a woman was in the middle of errands
- The profound healing power of SDE’s
+ more

Upcoming Courses:
The Shared Crossing Pathway: Accompanying Love Ones Through A Beautiful End Of Life
Shared Crossing Consultation Group: A Ground-breaking Professional Learning Experience
Self Study Course: A Glimpse Beyond the Threshold: Shared Death Experiences with Raymond Moody & William Peters

Follow William J. Peters and The Shared Crossing Project: Instagram | Facebook |Twitter | Youtube | Website | Book

Notes and Resources:
Dr. Christopher Kerr
Raymond Moody
Sir William Barrett

Full show notes

Shared Death Experiences (SD) - Strong evidence of an afterlife

William Peters who is author of at Heaven's Door: What Shared Journeys to the Afterlife Teach About Dying Well and Living Better. Liz finds the shared death experience one of the most fascinating and evidential bodies of research for evidence of an afterlife.

William Peters is the world's leading researcher on a particular end of life experience, called the shared death experience. This is when someone dies and a caregiver, loved one, or sometimes a hospice worker will report that they shared in the journey of the dying into an afterlife. They will report things such as “ I was with my loved one as he or she or they were going into the afterlife. And I saw all these phenomenon.”

Shared Death Experiences are called SD’s. And during these SD’s the person sharing the experience almost always reports travel - as if they move out of the body with the “soul” of the dying person. And they join as this person begins their “journey” out of their body and into the afterlife.

William Peters is also the founder of the Shared Crossing Research Initiative where he directs a team of researchers.

Shared Death Experiences (SDE’s) are similar to Near Death Experiences (NDE’s)

SDE’s and similar to NDEs in terms of experiences which suggests there really is a similarity between an NDE (dying) and an SDE. This adds to the evidence of an afterlife and the reality of SDE’s. This consistency backs up that both NDE’s and SDE’s give us insight into the afterlife.

A difference between an NDE and an SDE is that the body of a person during an SDE is no under stress. “They're healthy in mind and body and they are merely hitching a ride with the dying and observing, sensing, experiencing the same phenomena that the dying are experiencing themselves.”

People who have SDE’s consider them a special gift. It is a very transformative and profound experience. Some say it is the most profound experience they've often had in their life.

NDE’s and SDE’s are “realer than real.”

Both people who report NDEs and SDEs both describe them as “realer than real.” “..and assert that what I saw what I experience was more real than any other experience I had in the human dimension.”

How did William Peters get into researching SDEs?

When William was 17 he had an NDE. Until then he had had a normal typical suburban life. But during a high speed skiing accident he crushed his spine and ended up shooting out of his body. He described it as a classic near death experience. After being violently catapulted out of his body, he noticed his consciousness was witnessing his body and what was going on around him. He noticed at first all darkness and nothingness, but was aware that he was still conscious. “ And then all of a sudden, I felt this pull upon me. And I was then moving away from my body, and the lights went on gradually from the inside out.” He then saw an intense blinding light and noticed his body on the ski slopes “And then I was moving away, I saw Lake Tahoe, which is right near the where the ski area was, San Francisco Bay Area, Colorado Rockies, continental North America, and then a satellite view of planet Earth, all beautiful.” He was also aware that he felt no pain.

A life review during an NDE

He then went on to experience a classic life review. His entire life was being shown to him in movie style clips. He saw consequences of his actions, even how a small fight he had at 6 years old caused chain reactions and ripple effects.

He saw a light, and being raised a Catholic, interpreted this light consciousness as God. When he saw the light, William realized he was dying, and at 17 he was not happy about it. He knew he had not yet accomplished what he had come here to do. He then felt as if a power pushed him back into his body.

On the way back into his body he heard, “make something of your life.” And that is something he applies as a litmus test to his choices in life to this day.

While he did survive, he was severely injured and lives to this day with chronic pain.

He also has a rare blood disease, which caused him to end up in the ICU where he experienced a second NDE when he was about 30. When he rushed to this hospital he passed out in the nurses station and woke up in the ICU, on the ceiling, looking down at his body. He also noticed how he was a free-floating consciousness. He was able to observe all life on the hospital floor.

“and the way that I actually came to and realized that I was… that my physical human body was there, was that the nurses talked about this guy in bed three who was really healthy, and they had no idea why he was there. So that's kind of interesting. I wonder who that guy is because the rest of the people were all heading towards death. And they said this guy was really remarkable. And I looked over and I looked at my face, and I saw my face on the, in that bed. Oh my gosh, that's me. And I thought to myself, well, that's interesting. That's my me, but I'm up here. So I had this really moment of existential kind of crisis of like, well, well, who am I like, what? How can I be up here. So this was really shocking to me.”

Even though he had had an NDE before, this hadn’t really registered with him until his second one.

He realized a body is just a vessel but it is not essential for consciousness. He realized he felt no connection to his body, although he did come back to it.

Shared Crossing Research Initiative

William Peters and his team of researchers have now over 250 deeply analyzed cases, some of which he has put into his book. He finds them comforting and fascinating - not only do they align with NDE’s, but they show that we're able to connect with our loved ones through dimensions in some way. Also they are veridical. The experiences end up being verified.

Hospice Volunteering

William also got involved in volunteering at a hospice called Zen Hospice and he was working at a public hospital with many beds with people who were dying. So he was very used to being around death. There had also been a lot of cancer in his family and many of the women had died fairly young.

Death Bed Visions + Shared Death Experiences

William had a profound experience with his grandmother. When she was very sick and at the end of her life, she had a visitation from her loved ones on the other side and was talking with them. William took careful notes of what his grandmother was saying and he went to his Uncle with a list of the people she supposedly had been talking to, as well as details of the conversation. And these really were people who had been in her life years ago, and aspects of the conversation checked out! She was talking about things that had occurred in his family that she was still working out. This was related to things that went on in their family that William had not even known about.

William had a shared death experience as well while volunteering at hospice. William read frequently to a man called Ron who had been unresponsive for some time. The last sense to go is hearing, so hospice workers still talk to their patients until the end. While this man was unresponsive, he could still hear the books William was reading. One afternoon, while William was reading him this book, William popped out of his own body and was suddenly above his and Ron’s bodies. He saw the tops of their heads, and saw himself reading, so he must have been in a form of parallel universe.

Then while out of his body, he saw Ron out of body too with a big smile on his face. It was as if they were engaging telepathically and Ron was saying “Check this out!!”. And then Ron was explaining this is where he has been the whole time while he has been unresponsive and in hospice. William then realized this was exactly like during his NDE.

When William shared these experiences with the hospice director, the director said he himself was a Zen Buddhist and he was very calm about these experiences, but he did not have a name for them or an explanation.

Dr. Raymond Moody - NDE Expert

William then met Dr. Raymond Moody, who was the leading pioneer of in near death experiences, and Dr. Moody started talking about the shared death experience. This was exactly what William had experienced! It was described as being just like an NDE, but you do not have a brush with death. William shared that he himself had had these experiences. William learned from DR. Moody that there was no research on these experiences and no one was looking into them at all.

There had been some talk of them from Elisabeth Kubler Ross, the London Society for Psychical Research touched upon them, psychical researcher Sir William Barrett had mentioned them in his book Deathbed Visions, but they had never been named or categorized.

There are many end of life and interesting evidential phenomena.

SDE - Shared Death Experience Research

“So I started the first research project in the world dedicated to this, and hired researcher got a medical director, and went to town on this. And here we are. Now, I guess I'm nine years into this. And these cases are everywhere.”

Terminal Lucidity:

There are many other end of life experiences that occur and need to be looked into too. One is terminal lucidity, which is when someone has been basically unconscious, unable to speak or for example, in the case of Alzheimer's patients, not making any sense. And then the day before they pass, they suddenly are having full, clear, and normal conversations. And it seems like they're getting better.

This experience where the dying typically very close to death hours, most days, are often unconscious, unresponsive, even, you know, gripped by by cognitive decline, like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, what have you. And all of a sudden, they come to they get conscious, they get more vitality, they get clear of mind. And they start conversing with their loved ones, often around the bedside. And the people at the bedside are saying, Hey, look at Granny's coming back. And in fact, it's just the opposite. It's a harbinger for death as imminent.

Steve Jobs is an example of someone who had a type of terminal lucidity. He had been unresponsive and then moments before he died, he opened his eyes and said “Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow!”

Pre-death premonitions:

Many people who have a terminal diagnosis have told William that they just knew this was going to happen. This has also happened to people who knew they were going to lose a loved one in car accidents.

“And they say, you know, three weeks ago, I had a dream this would happen. And I'm like, I mean, if you ask, as a clinician in grief, and bereavement, did you have any idea this would happen? You'll be shocked if you're a clinician about how many people will say, ‘Well, it's funny, you ask that. I didn't want to acknowledge this, because I thought that I might have had a role in the death of this person.’”

He clarifies to them that is not rational and their knowing does NOT mean they caused the death or diagnosis in any way.

Pre-death visions and visitations:

These are very well studied. Dr. Christopher Kerr of TheHospice of Buffalo did an extensive study on these. He found that about 80 - 90% of his inpatient hospice patients reported having visitations from deceased loved ones who were there to comfort them and let them know their time was nearing.

Post death visions and visitations:

After the person has died, the deceased comes back. Sometimes they come back and answer the questions their loved ones have. Direct post death communication, which is in the ensuing days or weeks, the dying seemed to speak directly to the questions that the surviving loved ones have.

For example, “I was thinking about, how are we going to do to the funeral procession for my mom, then all of a sudden, she came into my mind and said, “You're going to do this, this, this and this. And you're going to see, you know, Uncle Charlie there. And I want you to say this at my eulogy,’ and they're like, wait a minute, I thought you were dead. This is direct post death communication, and it happens quite frequently.

There are also visions where someone will see their loved one at the foot of their bed, in the corer of their room, at the breakfast table, for example. Almost every time the deceased visiting will come with a message, and that message is, typically, ‘I want you to know that I'm okay. ‘ And they will often look younger, and healthier and vital.

Synchronicities:

Synchronicities often happen as well around death. Lights blinking, digital clocks freezing at times that reflect anniversaries, birth dates - key dates in their lives.

“And you don't want to believe stuff. But after the research, I'm quite convinced that there's something profound going on here.”

Difference between Near Death Experiences (NDEs) and Shared Death Experiences (SDE)

Since William experienced both, what did he feel are the differences? He is in the process of writing an article about this now for IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies) that compares these experiences.

Difference in perspective and how you perceive the phenomena

- In an NDE there are actual physical differences. You are the experiencer going through the veil and your body is harmed and under threat. You are experiencing a trauma.
- In an SDE you are observing somebody dying. You're observing their experience and the space they're in. You are seeing the person who is dying or who died.

The light

- In an NDE people report seeing the light 75% of the time. This suggests the end of your life and depending how far you go, then you won’t come back. The light seems to be the gateway.

- IN an SDE the light appears in many different ways. You have the big luminous light you see in the in the NDE. But you also see cascades of light, you see the light as bridges or channels of light that you can travel up. When you travel up that means you accompany your love done as they ascend.

Beings of light and deceased loved ones.

You see deceased loved ones in both.
- In an NDE you often see beings of light that could be guides, spirit guides, but they are described differently than people we know.
- SDE’s you rarely see what could be called an elevated being, but it happens.

Life reviews

- there are life reviews in both but in an NDE, the person is having their own life review. In an SDE you can observe your loved ones life review, the parts of your life together , you an observe their life like a move and very rarely you can still have your own life review.

There are consistencies and patterns to SDE’s

“I started getting dozens a month of people calling me saying, Hey, I heard you're interested in this experience guy coming in, share with So sure, come on in, you know, and, and, and what I was just blown away by was the pattern, the pattern of these experiences is so compelling, it's, you would be making a serious error in judgment, if you could not identify the significance of the patterns that come up over and over and over again. And the phenomena is largely the same. It's just every you every experience is unique. But the patterns are profound.”

Types of Shared Death Experiences - SDEs

- Bedside SDE’s which are about 1/3 of the cases

- Remote SDE’s, which are largely the same in terms of phenomena, and happen 2/3 of the time

Most SDE’s happen right around the time of death, but 9% happen a little before and even up to a day or so before the medical death.

William even shares a very rare case (in fact the only one like it) of a woman who had a remote life review of her father’s life a month before he died. He was ill, but they did not think he was close to death. She saw some aspects of his life she had not known, and when she checked with her mom, she found out they were true.

Why do some people have shared death experiences and others don’t?

That is the holy grail of questions for both SDE and NDEs. No one knows why. It seems that if you have one of those experiences, either an NDE or SDE, it increases your chances of having another. It is like once you have that energetic experience, you have crossed a threshold and that does something to your electromagnetic field. But once you have one of these, our research suggests that you're going to have more.

People who are more open-minded seem more likely to have these experiences. If your mind is supple and you are able to attune more to others. If you have good intuition and empathy. These are the type of people that have these experiences.
- Open-minded people
- Good intuition+ empathy
- Able to attune more to others
- Already had one SDE or NDE

Anything we can do to more likely have a shared death experience?

So, how do you develop these traits that are more likely to have these kinds of experiences? There are so many wonderful practices that help develop these characteristics. “I think the more somatic, the actively oriented these practices are, the more likely they help you attune to what's going on in the room and in around the dying as they're dying.”

Things like Tai Chi, which are very sensory, heightening experiences. Mindfulness can include walking in the park every other day. They are attuning to the environment. And the Shared Crossing Project has a program called the Pathway Program that helps train people to have these experiences and develop these capabilities. About 80% of the people that do this program will have some sort of shared crossing experience.

- Mindfulness practices
- Meditation
- Tai Chi
- 67%, of our shared death experiences, report having mindfulness practices of some kind.
- The Pathway Program

Amazing examples of SDE - Shared Death Experiences

William’s book, “At Heaven’s Door” has many examples of amazing shared death experiences. One that he also talks about in this episode is a woman Leslie, who is an avowed scientist who had an amazing experience when her father passed. It really changed her outlook. Another woman had an experience while in the middle of shopping where she “joined” a friend she had not talked to in awhile who she hadn’t even known was sick. When she got a call a few hours later saying this friend had passed away, she was expecting it. While loss and grief are always devastating beyond words, especially when a parent loses a child, a woman who had had a previous shared death experience, was greatly comforted by this when her daughter tragically passed away.

Shared death experiences are among the most profound, evidential, and life-transforming experiences a person can have.

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